Hotel Cat

There are standards for feline residential accommodation
Rigidly enforced through moral suasion
And the occasional gesture of appreciation.

Five cushions is the benchmark,
With exclusive use, in sunny spots,
High places and private corners.

Attendants are present at all times
To provide fussing on demand.

Mind-reading is essential,
To ascertain current desires
From an impassive stare.

Symbolic thinking is needed
To know that placing food in one dish
Is giving a sign to eat from another.

There is an a la cat menu
Where a contemptuous sniff
Instantly brings more succulent fare.

Obsequious flunkies open doors
Then wait as the air is sniffed
And the decision made to go in or out.

Highly trained recreation staff
Become instantly expert in the complex rules
Of each brand new game.

Security staff guard all entrances,
Doors, windows, gutters and chimneys,
To bar unwanted intruders.

Ratings for any establishment are, of course, never revealed
Lest some animal should discover them
And attempt to move in.